Your Guide

Lives with her cat Pooh Bear. Relationships are key in her life. Helping others to find what they are looking for. Kindhearted, caring, and creative. Understanding life from the eyes of the past and living in the NOW.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Summary The Nine Insights

Summary by Axcella
The way I see these are apart of Living with Intent. Like the call of the Toltec's
The Mastery of Awareness to become aware of your own beliefs, opinions, fears, judgments and other sub-conscious attitudes that control your behaviour.
The Mastery of Transformation. You have to unlearn everything you know. The opinions and fears you have been to have. All the distortions of light in your perception.
There are no rules about who you should be or how you should think or act.
Discard all the beliefs and agreements that cause you to hurt from self-judgments and self-rejections. Live you life with self-acceptance and self-love.
When you Master Intent and Love magic will happen in your life, and abundance will come to you effortlessly. You will be master of your own life, and live in the dream of Heaven on Earth.
The Nine Insights are as follows:
1.Start paying closer attention to those seemingly "Chance Coincidences" - strange occurrences that feel like they were meant to happen. They are actually synchronistic events, and following them will start you on your path to spiritual truth.
2.Observe our culture within its proper historical context.
3.Start to get acquainted with the subtle energy that infuses all things. With practice, you can learn to see the aura around any living being and to project your own energy around it to give it strength.
4.An unconscious competition for energy underlies all conflicts. By dominating or manipulating others, we get the extra energy we think we need. Sure, it feels good - but both parties are damaged in the conflict.
5.The key to overcoming conflict in the world is the mystical experience, which is available to everyone. To nurture the mystical and build your energy, allow yourself to be filled with a sense of love.
6.Childhood traumas block our ability to fully experience the mystical.
7.Once cleared of traumas, you can build energy through contemplation and meditation, focus on you basic life question, and start riding a steady stream of intuitions, dreams, and synchronistic coincidences, all guiding you in the direction of your own evolution and transformation.
8.That evolution can't be done alone, so begin to practice the new "Interpersonal Ethic" by uplifting those who cross your path. Talk to people who make spontaneous eye contact with you. Avoid co-dependent relationships. Be there for people. Call attention to other people's control dramas. In groups, speak when the spirit (instead of the ego) moves you.
9.Our purpose here is to evolve beyond this plane. Fewer people (a result of reproductive abstinence) and more old-growth forests will help us to sustain our energy and accelerate our evolution.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Four Agreements and the Mastery of the Toltec

I have just finished reading The Four Agreements, By Don Miquel Ruiz. The book is a practical guide to Personal Freedom. A book about Toltec Wisdom.

A thousand years ago the Toltec were known as 'women and men of knowledge.' The Toltec were not a nation or a race, in fact, they were scientists and artists who formed a society to explore and conserve the spiritual knowledge and practices of the Ancients. They had masters
(naguals) and students.
Over the millennia they were forced to conceal the wisdom and maintain things in secret.

As children, we didn't have the opportunity to choose our beliefs, with the information that was passed to us the dream of the planet from others. This is called the domestication of humans. Through this we learned how to live and how to dream.

The dream of the planet was the result of a collective of other dreams. We have been taught how to dream the planet.

We need attention to discriminate and to focus on that which we want to perceive as our dream.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

FIRST AGREEMENT
Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

SECOND AGREEMENT
Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

THIRD AGREEMENT
Do not make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with other as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

FOURTH AGREEMENT
Always to do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to being sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

The Toltec Path to Freedom
The freedom we are all looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves. But if we look at our lives we will see that most of the time we do things, just to please others, just to be accepted by others, rather than living our lives to please ourselves. That is what has happened to our freedom.

The Three Things Mastery that Lead Toward Becoming A Toltec

1st is the Mastery of Awareness. To be aware of who we really are, with the possibilities.
2nd is the Mastery of Transformation. To change, to be free of our domestication.
3rd is the Mastery of Intent. It makes transformation of energy possible. Intent is life itself. Intent is unconditional love. Mastery of Intent is therefore the Mastery of Love.

THE NEW DREAM

Life can be very easy when love is your way of life. Only love has the ability to put you in a state of bliss. It is entirely possible to live this way all the time. Once you feel what it means to live in a state of bliss, you will love it. You will know that heaven on earth is truth ---- that heaven truly exists.

MEDITATIONS

Today the Universe helps us to keep the love and the peace in our hearts and to make that love a new way to live our life, may we live in love for the rest of our life.

Focus your attention on your lungs, as if only your lungs exist. Feel the pleasure when your lungs expand to fulfill the biggest nee of the human body – to breathe.
Take a deep breath and feel the air as it fills your lungs. Expand your lungs with air until your body has the need to expel that air. Then expel and feel the pleasure again.
When ever we fill the need of our body we gain pleasure.

May this be the beginning toward becoming Toltec.

The Waiting Lady

Her long brown hair separated in the middle framed her brown skinned face. Her eyeglasses frame her eyes in opaque frame.
She wears a black coat, black shirt, black pants, and black boots.
Se look at her flip-style mobile phone.
Her ears are plugged with an ear piece on the end of the wire is a small white box.
She sits on the side of a row of computers waiting. Waiting for her chance to access the computer to take her from this place to the worldwide web.

The Walk Light

They stand at the corner of the Edmonton City Centre's southeast corner.
The weather is visible when they breath. They are bundled in coats, scarfs, hats, gloves, and footwear.
They are standing and waiting for the walk light on the northwest corner of the National Bank to change. The light changes. They cross over. Some walk south past the Bank, some west, and still some stop to wait to cross over to the northwest corner of the Stanley Milner Library.
They are standing and waiting for the walk light to change. It changes and they cross the street. Some walk east past the Library, others walk south. Still some stop to wait to cross over to the southwest corner of Sir Winston Churchill Square.
They are standing and waiting for the walk light to change. It changes and they cross the street. Some walk west past the Edmonton's City Centre, some walk north, and still some wait to cross over to the corner of the National Bank.
This goes on over and over again, all day, and sometime through the night. The walk light is moving us.

Your Eyes

Your Eyes
Your brown eyes.
Your doorway to your soul and your heart.
I look into your eyes.
I see heart that is filled with pain.
I also see desire to be the person you were meant to be.
Set your pain aside.
Rise above the pain.

My heart jumps when I am with the real you.
My heart rises.
-December 2009

The Magic of Love

We met.
We smiled.
We met again.
You smiled and said, 'Hi!'
-December 2009

Monday, November 23, 2009

Truth Wins Out's Weekly Newsletter-November 23, 2009

From:

Items from the news related to the GLBTQ Networks

The New GLBT Pope Problem

It is time to admit that the gay community has a gigantic Pope problem. Under the leadership of Benedict XVI, the Vatican has become an implacable foe of liberalism, modernity and basic rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Rome has eagerly jumped with both feet into America's culture wars and is working on a global scale to punish or purge ideological dissenters within the church. This aggressive activism presents a formidable new front in the fight for parity - one with considerable political clout and financial resources.

Last week, a coalition of totalitarian religious activists and radical clerics joined forces to unveil the "Manhattan Declaration" at Washington's National Press Club. This rambling manifesto, written by former Watergate felon Chuck Colson, called for "Christians" to disobey laws they didn't fancy and to ignore civil rights laws that protected GLBT people from discrimination. It was a dishonest document filled with historical revisionism that promoted theocracy, encouraged anarchy and supported the dissolution of the rule of law. It falsely portrayed right wing Christians as victims, even as they pledged to work tirelessly to deny equality to those who would not adhere to their sectarian church rules.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

The BIG Squeeze.

November 21, 2009 |
Relationships are NOT like oranges. The harder you squeeze, the less juice you get.

If you let go a little, you get a little peace. If you let go a lot, you get a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you get complete peace.


From: Break the Illusion.com
The Big Squeeze

Care 2 Causes - Condoms and the Climate?

If left unchecked, global climate change has the potential to drastically affect our access to fresh water, adequate food, and ample landspace for housing and agriculture.

Many experts point to the rapid growth of the world's population in the last hundreds years as one of the factors that have intensified the effects of climate change that we are already beginning to see.
posted by: Beth B. at http://www.care2.com/causes/global-warming/blog/condoms-for-climate-change/

Late morning start. Slept in with Pooh Bear beside me.

Went to two events last night. First I went to Queers in Hood put on by Exposure Queer Art & Cultural Festival. Bought a light blue hankie which symbolizes that I am into oral sex. I had some coffee and gin. Met a friend there last night, Richard. He asked if I could buy him a yellow hankie, which means that the person is into water sports?
I then went to Play Nightclub where I had a VIP pass waiting for me at the door, compliments of the manager, Corey. I had a few drinks chatted with a few people, had a drink bought for me, and talk to some of the staff that I knew there. It was a good evening.
On the way home on the LRT I met a friend that I met at the Pride Centre, can't remember her name at the present time.
That was my night.
Kevin is still in the Remand Centre.
Made a few plans today. I plan to go pick up some laundry detergent and a few cleaning supplies. Then come home and wash clothes and clean house. I also plan to ask that good-looking Kevin to grow old with me.
Kevin, my partner, is going to be amazing today, quite frankly. He has got overwhelming support for me today. I will take it all in and lean on him, but don't forget to tell Kevin how grateful I am.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Hope what is Hope and What does hope do?

I was reading updates on Twitter to day. I came across greenhousedoll who had a link to John Maxwell's article on How to Be a Dealer in Hope. I like some of the things he spoke about on hope. For instance did you that Napoleon said: “Leaders are dealers in hope.”
Leaders deal hope. So what is hope? Why is hope so important to us? According to Maxwell's article 'Hope is a power that keeps us going in the toughest times of life.'
He has a list of what does hope do for humanity?
1.Hope shines brightest when the hour is darkest.
2.Hope motivates when discouragement comes.
3.Hope energizes when the body is tired.
4.Hope sweetens the bitterness bites.
5.Hope sings when all melodies are gone.
6.Hope believes when the evidence is eliminated.
7.Hope listens for answers when no one is talking.
8.Hope climbs over obstacles when no one is helping.
9.Hope endures hardship when no one is caring.
10.Hope shines confidently when no one is laughing.
11.Hope reaches for answers when no one is asking.
12.Hope presses toward victory when no one is encouraging.
13.Hope dares to give when no one is sharing.
He points out also, “Hope brings the victory when no one is winning.'
He makes a list of 'How do leaders offer hope to people?' I looked at that and asked how can I offer people hope? The same way. I would like to point out to you how you can get hope?
1.Change your way of thinking. My partner, Kevin, always says, 'stinking thinking leads to stinking living.' Live outside of the negativity.
2.Win some small victories in your life.
3.Know that I believe you can get through the worst of things.
I am hoping that this will make a world of difference in your life as it has in my life. I have stop as much of the negative thinking, work on small victories which have given me more life, and I now believe I can get out of every situation not to say it happens instantly.
Hope grab on to it.

Control?

There are something is my life I just cannot control and today one of those events may just be ready to surprise its way into my life. Being an Aries, it is hard to realized that things may not turn out the way I planned. Just need to focus on what needs to be done to the situation to my advantage. At very least, focusing on the temporary nature of problems, rather than getting carried away with the intensity of my feelings. Getting upset will not help me either. I can not put out a fire with petrol.
I am going through a very emotional period right now, where my emotional needs are being made a priority for me. The emotional element is most obvious in my love life, and I am making those needs known. I will need to express these needs to Kevin to be nurtured today, and sharing this experience with another person will certainly prove favorable for me. I am also getting lucky in my escort work these days, today I have some people talking about booking time with me. I should also spend time with some friends as they will certainly remind me of how lucky I am.

From my Personal Journal

I have decided to find away to have Kevin's charges dropped. He is already facing a possibly 6 months for his break & enter charges.
I have set up my blog and have begun blogging, twittering, and face-book. I am now trying to gain work through escorting.
I am no angel -- especially when naughtiness is the name of the game. I'm making the rules and then breaking them. Fortunately, I know when to turn from vice into nice, especially when it comes to romance.
Thinking back to a happy time. A really, really happy time in my life. Go back as far as it takes, to a time when I felt so light I thought I might float.
January 13, 2009 after my surgery in Montreal.
Then when Kevin came into my life.

I remember it. The carefree feeling. My acceptance of the moment, of myself, of life? Feeling unfettered by thoughts of the future and oblivious to the past?

Feel it a little longer...

There. Very nice.
Yours,
    The Universe
The only difference between joyful moments and others... is me.
I've reached a milestone of sorts, and it's a good time to take a break and enjoy the view with Kevin my partner by my side. Try to make sure I don't let inertia (Inertia is the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion.)drag me down.

I do my best when I am concentrating on an interesting job. Administrative work is especially favored. My home life could be stable today, providing a calming influence for me. Be cautious where love is concerned or a scandal could arise. To help avoid unwanted romantic advances, don't wear red or pink.

From: Break the Illusion.com

I am subscribe to Break the Illusions posting. It is hosted by Dave from Rhode Island. He has some very interesting things to say. This is one of his Talky Blog from You Tube.
He talks about clouds and where we can find them. Very interesting. Hope you enjoy.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Pain of Loss

On Wednesday November 11, 2009 my partner beat me up. This poem was written while in Arts Appreciation at Harcourt House, Edmonton, Alberta. He was arrested and charge for attack. I have since decided to reconcil with him. This may upset or get some of my friends upset. I am satisfied with his apologies, a plan to make changes through counselling individually and as a couple, and his desire to deal with his addictions through support groups such as: AA and NA. He may have to do time and will take anger management as well.
The poem:
Sore face
Sore mouth
Sore eyes
Sore cheeks
Sore lips
Stiff
Tense
Tears sorrow wanting
Longing desire
Blood
Why does it hurt?
The thoughts
The internal fight.
Fair well my love. Farewell my love.
Did you love me? Did you care about me?
--Written November 14,2009

Highlights from: 'If You Want to Write"

Reading: If You Want to Write – A Book about Art, Independence, and Spirit. By Brenda Ueland, 1987 edition.

I came across the book in my Writers' Group that I attend on Monday afternoons. Brenda Ueland was born in 1891 and died in 1985. She was very active even at the time of her passing. She was a writer, editor, and teacher of writing.
Let me share some highlights from chapter 1 of her book.
She states that: “Everybody is talented, original, and has something to say.” In stating that she points out that 1. Everybody is talented since everyone has something to express in whatever form they can express it; 2. Everybody is original in that whatever you do from yourself is originally yours.
We need to trust our creativity to free up our creativity.
A great musician once said, 'That one should never play a single note without hearing it, without never feeling that it is true, thinking that about it is beautiful.'
We should be creative from what comes from withing us by what we know and love. You can then be sure that it is coming from your heart.
Life is meant to be enjoyed and enjoy it.

Our Queer Bodies- a discussion

Location:University of Alberta, Telus Centre, rm 150
Time:5:00PM Thursday, November 19th

A lively panel discussion about body image of queer identified persons. The panelists were Brian Francis, Cindy Baker, and Kristy Harcourt.
Kristy Harcourt was the facilitator for the panel. She asked the following questions that challenged the audience:
1.How do you come to terms with your body?
2.How does gender and sexuality show up in your life, and in your work?
3.Who do you market yourself?
4.When you came to yourself a queer person was it freeing or was it limiting?
I pondering these questions and listened to the responses of the panelists and the audience.
I realize that my body frustrates me because of the statements of those outside of myself and the stereotypes that people have of a woman. I do not always like the fact that I get people thinking I am a man in woman's clothes.
My gender shows up to some as a question of what gender I am. At work most of those accept me as a woman and nothing more.
I present myself to everyone that I see hoping that I am seen as a woman by men who are men.
I came out in two ways. Once as a person who loves men and then as one who had the wrong body parts that needed changing.

The evening was held in a lecture theatre at the UofA's Telus Centre for Professional Training. There was about a 100 people in the audience.

TRANSGENDER DAY OF REMEMBRANCE 2009

Notice from: Canadian Labour Congress Statement

November 20 marks the 11th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to honour and remember all those transgender people who have been murdered as a result of transphobic violence.

Transphobic violence is all too common in communities around the world. In Toronto, the 519 Community Centre estimates that at least one trans person per month dies from transphobic violence; trans women of colour who are sex workers are disproportionately affected by this violence. Most often, these tragic events are not reported in the mainstream media and the perpetrators are seldom prosecuted.

But we must do more than remember. In addition to recognizing the day, we each need to commit ourselves to working toward the full equality of our transgender sisters and brothers in our workplaces, in our communities and in our unions.

We need to educate ourselves and our members about trans issues, put trans issues on our list of priorities at the bargaining table and make sure our unions support workers who are transitioning on the job. Information about trans issues, bargaining demands and workers in transition is available on the CLC website at: www.canadianlabour.ca under “Human Rights and Equality” and“Pride”.

We also need to participate in campaigns to include gender identity and gender expression in human rights laws in jurisdictions all across the country.

Under the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights everyone has the right to security of the person and to protection from violence or bodily harm. The labour movement’s commitment to these principles is expressed through our solidarity with one another and our understanding that an injury to one is an injury to all.

On November 20, let us honour those who have died and renew our support of the trans communities and their struggle for equality.

SG:gna*cope225

What my cat Pooh Bear reminds me?

My cat Pooh Bear is a short-haired black Siamese. She is slim and sleek. She was the runt of the litter and has stayed the size of a eight month old cat.
Pooh Bear reminds me that the higher up you get the more you can see. She loves getting on top of the garage behind our building and look down on things. Her other height she likes is on top of the building. Her ability to jump high, she has very strong hind quarters, gets you to places most cats dream of going. When she was little and got caught going up trees or on roofs I would tell her, 'You got up there you can get down the same way.' She has never been stuck anywhere for long.
You can cat nap anywhere and through anything. I even asked her one day to teach me how to take a cat nap. She looked at me with her smug look of context. She then stretched, cleaned herself, found the right spot to lay and circled it and laid down. I followed her to some extent. She then did something that made sense for a cat nap. She checked to see what I was doing before plopping her head down on the bed. A few weeks later I asked her if she could show me how to do a cat-nap she looked at me as to say, 'this is the last lesson.'
Purring is good for your well being(too bad we can't purr). Food is best served to you then to get it for yourself. You should always thank those around you for the food they give by delivering them birds, mice, and bugs. Stretch when you walk.
Pooh Bear my baby. She has been with me for almost three years, all her life. She has me trained and my neighbour too. Her life has been good the past two years when we settled into the home we live in today. She has her uncle next door, who is glad to take her in when she wants a retreat from me. He says she has him trained too.
She also is the one who introduced me to my current partner, Kevin. She had him trained before he moved in too. She actually thinks he her boyfriend and not mine. Right now she is missing him. He will be back soon.

From: Somayya Kasani on FaceBook


I went to FaceBook and scrolled through my live feed from my friends on FaceBook. The following quote caught my eye from Somayya Kasani:
Do not close your mind to new possibilities, new ideas and new hobbies: Arina

We are not usually born knowing exactly what would we like to do. Like tiny puzzle pieces we put together our interests, hobbies, bits of knowledge, different talents and skills to get the whole picture and discover our true passion. After th...is the next ultimate challenge is to figure out how to make money by doing what you love to do.Every time we try something new, we get a better understanding of our likes, abilities, skills and character.Read More

So I ask myself, what are the new possiblities, new idea, and new hobbies that I have not done yet? I have so much to discover and learn. What about you? What holds you back from openining your eyes and mind to new things? Is it fear? Is it old thoughts? or teachings that keep you from looking to new ideas or thoughts?

Becoming open has allowed me to venture into the unknown. I have found much in the universe and expect to find more.

I have found ways of drawing a person back to you, especially a lover. I have also found pure energy. My life has made changes each and everyday.

I am growing and will continue to grow, what about you.

From Somecards

I found SomeCards while starting Twitter. If you want some different greeting cards check them out.
_____________________________________

The countdown to you masturbating after seeing New Moon has begun!



Did you know that 93% of New Moon fans report being dissatisfied with their love lives? If not, that’s because we made it up. Another false fact: Only 6% of werewolves send drunk booty texts at 1:30 a.m.

Go to: http://www.someecards.com/blog/ to find out more about SomeCards.
___________________________________________

Gotta love it and laugh.

Understanding the Universe

I started recieving Notes from the Universe almost a year ago. Based on the book I receive a messsage from the Universe during the week, not on the weekends. The notes are sometimes relevant sometimes not. Yet they are always encouraging.
Todays's reading:
If I don't dream big, I can't scheme big.
Does that pretty much settle things?
Dare. It's always worth it.

So dream big today. Intent living calls us to live out our dreams to make them happen. I have a dream to be able to make a living using my creative skills. I also dream of living with the man of heart. So I live out what it takes to make these two dreams work.
I do not scheme, I do what it takes to develop my creative skills. For instance when it comes to writing I decided to start this blog for the purpose of buuilding up my writing skills and to communicate. I also work to share what I have been learning. I offer myself to those who would like to become grounded and more.
I also go to quilting on every other Friday and Art Appreciation on the other Fridays. I also go to a creative writing group and creative arts group.
I am also reconciling myself with my partner to build our relationship up. He is cuurently in the Edmonton Remand facing Break and Entry charges and Assault Charges and Uttering a death threat. We are both going to go for individual counselling and couples counselling. He is going to deal with his addictions.
What does intent living look like. It looks like you are living in the dream now.

I am also reading a book by Brenda Ueland, "You Want to Write?" She talks about writing in the now and writing with out fear of criticism. I have in my apartment a piece of my artwork with the following quote: '...why point out the mistakes?" Why do we point out the mistakes and not the good in what someone is writing?
Who am I to judge your intentions in your writing.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

In the beginning...

Many eons ago when the earth was formed, the process of evolution brought forth many species and the rise of the human species as we know it.
Sitting in groups the ancients talked and learned about their environment. They also knew that they were part of a greater entity in the universe a collective of many. They noticed the cycle of life and learned from their environment and listened to the collective of the many through various means and methods.
When I started challenging my beliefs I asked what is life about where are we going.
I looked to religions of the world and found a controlling of the masses. Religion also produced fear and death.
Yet there was an underlying system in humanity. One where it connected us to the earth and the universe. The earth is made of all things in the universe. We are made of the same things. We are one with the earth and the universe. There are those of the past that seen a connection of our lives to the earth and the universe.
I have by no means found the complete answer but I have found some profound things, including strength and power.
I am constantly learning but challening the learning.
I live in the NOW and desire to understand more. I have stopped worrying as much for the future and more intune with the now.
I have found a source of energy that connects me with the earth and the universe. I have also found a place where all the minds of the earth gather together to yet few know of it.
I am understanding things like unconditional love.
As you read my discoveries please feel free to journey with me by sharing your thoughts and providing clarification of the discoveries. I will tolerate any attack on myself or anyone else nor references to religious books.